I’m a Cold-Blooded Bastard.

And why I don’t lend money.

loaning money

It was 11:00PM on a Friday and I heard a ping on my phone. Swiping up to see the notifications, a message from an old friend, one I hadn’t seen or spoken to in 4 years.

“Hey man, I’m having some cash flow issues. I’m hoping I can borrow $50 to get to work tomorrow and park. I’ll have a paycheck to pay you back on the 18th.”

I sat there with a wrench in my gut. I had never been asked to borrow money before aside from covering for a friend’s dinner if/when they were short. Even then, I hated it. Whenever I lent money, it seems all of my friends would casually forget until I would resolve to write off the expense and let it be. Perhaps it was also my fault for not being particularly good at following up whenever I had the chance.

So obviously, I was a bit torn. My friend was a nice guy, but I likely wouldn’t be able to follow up with him since we didn’t talk or see each other. And from my time when I did see him every day, he wasn’t known to be particularly reliable.

My Philosophy: Just Say No.

I wrote back “Hey bud – as much as I know you’re a good guy, I don’t lend money to anyone (family or friends) for personal reasons. I’m sorry I can’t help, but I hope you find a solution.”

He understood and didn’t give me a hard time about it and I breathed a sigh of relief.

Money is complicated. We all work hard for it and thus, have a hard time parting with it sometimes.

My philosophy has always been that when it comes to family and friends, I never lend money. Perhaps that makes me a cold-blooded bastard, but I’ve seen first hand how money can tear friends and family apart when loans casually become “forgotten”. I don’t want to be in that situation and hopefully I’ve set the precedent so that I never will be.

Author: stretchingeverydollar

Starving artist to Debt Free MBA. Attempting to retire early.

5 thoughts on “I’m a Cold-Blooded Bastard.”

  1. This is a great post and obviously you’re not a cold-harded bastard – you’re just learning from experience (but you know that). I too had a big bleeding heart into my forties until had two family members take advantage of my kindness (1 to the tune of $8000).

    I will give people an emotional bump and try to give them ideas for solutions; but not money.

    Like your style 🤓


  2. I agree with not lending, but in a situation like that I’d have given him the money as a gift, once and once only. But I was born with the word gullible tattooed to my forehead.


  3. I dont like to but i will if i think they are truly sincere. when you know they are not sincere is when they hit you up again and again that is where you have to draw the line.
    I had a friend who kept doing that then i said hey bro I am not your bank account. then he would try the ill pawn this thing from my truck off on you and you can keep it if i dont pay you back. Like he has a chevy i have a dodge wont fit. then he called me up and said ill pay you back on friday all i owe you, i said awesome then he replied but i need 20 dollars till then, nope notta get out of here. He even called me up saying he needed 20 so he could get his truck titled. nope not happening when you abuse it you lose it.


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